


Hold On, I Still Need You

by Levyscript



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura Lives, Angst with a Happy Ending, Axca/Veronica - Freeform, Background Relationships, Emotionally constipated Shiro and Keith, Finally getting together, M/M, Major Illness, Non-Canonical, Season 8 who, alternative universe, major character illness, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26665462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Levyscript/pseuds/Levyscript
Summary: Feeling sore and exhausted Shiro finally goes in for his physical. Everything looks great until his new doctor calls a few days later. Coming to terms he can’t be saved and doesn’t want others to worry. Will Keith accept that though?Sheith Prompt Party Prompt 6: AU where Shiro wasn't cured of his disease; Keith helps him cope
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 44
Collections: Sheith Prompt Party 2020





	Hold On, I Still Need You

Shiro was in the medical facility at the Garrison. He couldn’t keep putting off his annual physical exam anymore. It’s been a year since the war ended about two years ago since his surgery. That was the last time he was in the medical facility.

He was going to need all new bloodwork and update his file considering this isn’t his official body. He has been feeling sore and aching a lot. His job isn’t physically demanding. But he wasn’t going to let his body get out of shape so he still scheduled his daily workout in his overworked days.

He was in the patient room waiting to meet his new doctor. She was dropping something off and the nurse had deposited him. He heard a knock and then the door opened to reveal a woman. She was average height and had dark hair. Maybe a few years older than himself.

“Admiral Shirogane, pleasure to meet you. I am Dr. Rayna. I will be your primary doctor,” she introduced herself holding a hand out.

Shiro smiled and was glad she didn’t salute him, “Pleasure to meet you too. Also please just Shiro. Admiral gets stuffy.”

Rayna couldn’t help the chuckle, “No problem Shiro. Since you were still in uniform I wanted to make sure. I know some of the Garrison are picky on their titles.”

Shiro couldn’t help the bark of laughter he let out. He knew exactly who she was talking about. Shiro was tired of hearing Admiral. All day and everyday. He never had a break. Even in peace it’s all he heard. Except when they manage to have paladin dinners, having dinner at the Holts, or he’s out with Matt.

“Since this is just a preliminary exam, I will be asking a few questions. And if there is anything you need to ask about you can. When we are done you will need to go next door to give some blood.” Dr. Rayna smiled as she sat down and logged into the computer.

“Alright just ask away.” It was easy for Shiro to be at ease. In the past Shiro used to dread doctors.

“According to the file submitted by the Garrison, you are twenty-eight?”

“Yes.”

“But with your birth date you should be three years older. Is there a reason there is a discrepancy?”

“What was only a few years for Earth it was actually a few hours for us. Time works differently where we were. We were in a quintessence field. That had an inter-reality gate. The fight the Paladins engaged opened rifts into other realities.”

“Fascinating. I am learning a lot since we have opened up to the universe. I have to study up on basic alien anatomy and biology. So that’s why it was filed away like that.”

“When they did your prosthetic surgery, you were no longer diagnosed with your chronic illness. You were given two good years left at the time of Kerberos. At the rate you were losing muscle mass you probably would have been hospital bound. And by now, you hypothetically would have been in hospice. We currently still don’t have a cure or a way to prolong life quality.”

Shiro was hit with fear. Not once had he really thought of the diagnosis that the Garrison used to see him as before Kerberos. He never thought of it in space. He had other worries. So it was a relief when he was cleared of the disease when they returned to Earth. He never really had any pain since the arm that mostly bothered him was removed.

“Shiro.” Shiro blinked and remembered he was still at his appointment.

“Sorry it’s just something I haven’t thought about in a while.” He watched her eyes scan him, checking him out.

“It also says here, this is not your original body.”

Shiro knew this question would come up. If she hadn’t raised it, he would have questioned if he should request a new doctor. He may dislike doctors because of his past. He also knew he was able to get far because of the doctors he had. He had a doctor that fought for him and understood he had a dream.

Shiro signed, “Yes. I died fighting. My physical body was gone. I was the Paladin of the Black Lion. She saved me by absorbing my soul. I was rescued by Queen Allura. She was able to extract my soul and use Altean alchemy to transfer my soul to the clone body. It almost didn’t take but I pulled through. We only had one healing pod.”

Dr. Rayna was typing away as she listened. She was also double-checking his old record. His diet and exercise regime from back then.

“For the two years that you spent in space did your disease ever bother you?”

“No. When I came back, I couldn't really remember anything of the year I was missing after Kerberos. And I had this prosthetic arm. I suffered from PTSD and phantom pains. The healing pods I don’t think ever picked up the disease.”

Shiro took a breath. He hated talking about himself. He hated attention on himself. He never felt like he needed people to worry about him. Being a sickly kid, he felt a burden and always had to fight harder to achieve his dream.

Dr. Rayna finished updating everything as he explained. She sat back to look at Shiro, “Shiro. Seems like everything matches up. I do wish you came in sooner but I also understand there was a war. The new promotion. You have a lot of work under you. Is there anything you want to discuss?”

Shiro knew he should mention it. Taking a deep breath, he finally shared, “Two months ago I started getting random aches and soreness. Even with my job involving more paperwork than ever. I still make sure to train daily. It doesn’t happen all the time but sometimes I’ll be sore. Have moments of feeling tired and weak. It’s not major. I do overwork. Guarantee there are complaints about it in my file.”

Dr. Rayna smiled at him, “I saw those. Well, it could be from overworking. It could be a number of things. I can see why it may be unnerving given your past. Do you feel the weakness in any local spots or random?”

“Random. It’s more reoccurring in the upper arm.”

“Can you take your Admiral’s jacket off. I’ll just massage the arms and shoulders to see if there are any specific sore spots.”

Shiro stripped off the jacket. He only wore a plain white t-shirt under. Many knew because he would strip the jacket off if he was hot. Luckily it’s allowed. Even if it hadn't been Shiro would argue if he’s in his office doing paperwork why would it matter.

He watched as Dr. Rayna approached him. She looked to him for permission before touching him. She felt around his arms and shoulders, putting light pressure here and there. She asked if anything hurt. Nothing did and it was the truth.

Before he could put his jacket back on, she took his blood pressure, checked his breathing, his heartbeat, and heart rate. Everything was fine.

He decided not to put his jacket back on since he still had a blood test to do. He stood up and shook Dr. Rayna’s hand. She let him know she would reach out to him in a few days about his results.

He got his blood drawn. Was a little woozy since he skipped lunch. The staff were nice enough to give him orange juice. He left drinking the orange juice, a purple bandage wrapped around his arm.

~~~

A few days had passed and Shiro was back in the medical facility. This time he was waiting in Dr. Rayna’s waiting area. He was meeting her at her office. His palms were lightly sweating from his nerves. This meeting could be standard but then again if nothing was wrong he could have found out through his online file. With the Coalition, they wanted to make medical files available. Especially for the people who travel. That way if anything happened, the patient's file could be pulled up in a matter of minutes.

“Admiral Shirogane, you can go in,” he heard the assistant call to him. He got up and smiled at her as he passed by her to get to the door.

He was glad he came a little early. He only had to wait a bit and it seems Dr. Rayna could see him early. He knocked before entering. Dr. Rayna was sitting at her desk with two holoscreens activated. She looked at him and smiled as Shiro sat down.

“Afternoon, Shiro.”

“Afternoon, Dr. Rayna,” He started twisting his hands because of nerves./

“I know meeting like this can benerve-wracking. There’s a few things I want to talk about. Your blood test has confirmed one theory I had after our last appointment.”

Shiro couldn’t stop the sharp breath he took. “What is it?”

Shiro felt Dr. Rayna checking him out. To gauge his mental health before continuing. She must have deemed him stable before answering, “Well, first of all I want to talk about what your blood test revealed.”

Shiro nodded so she understood that he was following along.

“Your blood was not actually the same as previously recorded. We know this is a clone body. It doesn’t match, which could have been a possibility since this body was scientifically made. Your DNA isn’t fully human. According to the readings, you are part Galra.”

Shiro released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. That wasn’t a shock. Over the past year he had noticed things different with him. It was easier to spot, not being in a war. His senses seemed to be better than ever. He had to get his eyes checked for piloting and be sure that he could have a small firearm.

He had noticed he had small fangs. They stay small but tend to get sharper when stressed or emotional. His taste had also improved. He couldn’t handle much of the Garrison canteen standard food.

The strength also might also have been a big tell. He was stronger than ever and not just because of the Altean arm. Shiro was the best hand-to-hand combat fighter of the Paladins. He prided himself on it.

He was brought back when he heard, “this doesn’t come as a surprise to you.”

Shiro looked at Dr. Rayna, “No. I have had an idea this past year. It’s not a surprise. When I was the Champion for the Galra, Haggar experimented on me. I think she may have cut off my right arm because of my disease. She wanted me to be an ultimate weapon. When I found out about the clones. I realized that after it was revealed that I was the Black Paladin, she had the ultimate weapon. That clone could walk right into castleship. I don’t know how they had my memories, but I never doubted her magic.”

Shiro could tell Dr. Rayna was glad that he took the information easily. He was also realizing she felt safe to talk to. He wasn’t afraid to tell her things he normally avoided. And because of doctor and patient confidentiality, she couldn’t share anything with the Garrison.

“With that said. I am a bit worried about your previous disease. I was going through your file to see how it first manifested for you. It seems you had the same complaints when it started when you were a young adult. It started with soreness and aches. It got worse and you were losing muscle mass. You were also getting exhausted faster.”

Shiro felt his hands clench tight. This was a possibility that had been haunting him over the past few days. Because once he said it out loud, he started wondering if the aches and soreness was more than just an exhausted body.

He looked to Dr. Rayna as she continued, “Shiro I’ve been looking at your past files and compared it to the updated information. The aches and soreness match up to the complaints you had when you were younger. I believe you may be showing signs of your muscle degenerative disease.”

Shiro closed his eyes. He couldn’t stop. He cried for the first time in a while. He had an inkling but god he wished he didn’t.

He felt an arm on him. He looked to see she had moved to stand in front of him. She gave Shiro a moment. But by looking at her, he could tell she had more to say. So he calmed himself down. He sat up straighter.

“There is more?” He croaked out.

He watched her lean against her desk. “With the new body, we don’t know how it will progress. We don’t know how the Galra genetics will affect it. I will have to put in a request to see if there is anything on record for a muscle degenerative disease in the Galra. It may not be a death sentence. But we don’t know if it may speed up the rate of loss muscle mass. As of right now I’m not too worried. We will just need to monitor it.”

_‘He couldn’t believe it. This was not happening. Not after everything he had been through. He had already died once. He wasn’t done. He wanted more time. He just.’_

Shiro was being told to take deep breaths. He didn’t realize it but he was having a panic attack. He knew the signs just have been a while. He had them when he was the Black Paladin but Black would help him through their connection.

He listened to Dr. Rayna's instructions to calm down. They sat there for a bit while Shiro got his mental bearing. Shiro sat up and stretched his one hand after clenching tight in a fist.

“Are you going to report it to the Garrison?” Shiro needed to know if his days were limited. None of the soreness and exhaustion had affected his piloting or decision making. He was once again going to be grounded by the Garrison after all his hard work.

“I’m not going to lie to you, Shiro. With how you feel. And you say it’s not major. I don’t see why we need to inform the Garrison as of now. Since we don’t know how it’s going to affect you yet. For all we know, you may not actually lose muscle mass. We know Galra live longer. You may only have mild symptoms and not a death sentence.”

“Wait, is my life span different with this clone body?”

“It may be. You said the witch wanted an ultimate weapon. We know clones can be killed but do we know if they age?”

Shiro had to think. He was in his late twenties and still going strong. Except for the few times he had aches and exhaustion. He was still physically in top form. All of his clones from the memory of the facility were all still the same age. They all looked to be his twenty-five year old self.

“What can we do?”

“I have a few ideas. First I just want you to document when you are feeling aches. Not exhaustion because that can be from over working. Second, I want you to come in every month. I want to check your muscle mass. We will be doing arms since that is normally the first noticeable loss. I will be checking today to get us a starting base. If it matches what was taken before your surgery, then we may have to meet less often to check. Lastly, for now just take aspirin if it really bothers you. It won’t affect your work and such.”

In his most sincere voice, “Thank you Dr. Rayna.”

He watched her give him a soft smile, “Shiro you have been fighting all your life to live. To have your dreams. Technically this disease should have killed you already. I honestly think Shiro you are different. And I know the Garrison. I see the notes from your previous doctor and the one ones the Garrison added from another doctor they recruited to check you.. I’m not going to ground you. I’m not going to give them the fuel to turn you in a poster boy again. But I will suggest getting a therapist. If not, please have a friend to talk to.”

Shiro thanked Dr. Rayna. She made sure he understood he could message anytime and she would get back to him as soon as she could. He left the office with mixed emotions. He got news he didn’t want but he left knowing history was not repeating itself.

He may not have any family or a significant other now, but he had never liked burdening them anyway. His disease was a problem with Adam. He wouldn’t want to do that to someone again.

He definitely was not going to talk to a therapist. The last one was preparing him to be okay with being an invalid. That it was okay he would need others to help. To accept his fate. That went against everything Shiro stood for. Patience yields focus was what got him through and it would again.

Was he worried about the Garrison and Coalition? Yes. To the Garrison he was their poster boy. The one that all the universal dignitaries came to meet. The former Black Paladin. He was no longer just the Champion. He didn’t want to be just his disease again. He didn’t know how the Coalition would take it. He knew Allura would stand by him as would other planets that fully trust him. It’s the Garrison. They would only see him as his disease and might slowly edge him out. That was what he was worried about.

~~~

Months had passed by since his initial diagnosis. Since he hadn’t lost any muscle mass, he hadn’t notified the Garrison or Coalition. His work had not been affected in any ways. Though some days the pain could be bad but he knew how to work through pain.

He started wearing an updated version of his old medical bracelet. It kept track of his muscle mass and distributed medicine, if he needed something stronger than aspirin. As long as it wasn’t a high dose, he could still work without being affected by the meds. Some days the pain was worse, but luckily, it only lasts a few hours.

He was trying to keep his diagnosis on the down-low. He had been spending less time with the Paladins. Their schedules were hectic before but Shiro tried to get out of physical meetings. Luckily, they were all on their own journeys. They were all over the universe.

Lance and Allura were on Altea with Coran. With Allura being crowned queen, she was busy with restoring Altea to how it used to be, plus working with the Coalition. Coran had proudly continued to be an adviser to her. Lance was flourishing. He was by her side and they were dating. Just waiting to hear an announcement of engagement. They all know it would happen. Lance was just as in love with Allura as he always had been.

Hunk was currently learning and sharing his culinary works on another Coalition planet. Romelle and Shay went with him. Hunk also loved it because he loves to trade engineering tips. Hunk would always love cooking and engineering.

Pidge was on Earth but she was a little gremlin who hardly left her lab. She finished that robotic child project with Matt. And let’s just say poor Chip was abandoned by his siblings. He now helped Colleen in the greenhouses. Pidge was working on many projects for the Coalition. And she helped with Garrison by making sure their security stayed secure. She was the one Shiro was worried about. Pidge still hacked the system for fun. She designed systems and checked to make sure she could still get in undetected. Shiro had to remind her to respect the privacy of the Paladins. She respected them and he made sure not to give her reason to think of checking his files.

Keith was the one he missed the most, honestly. He was a senior Blade officer now. Ran his own team and was just as busy. Keith and Shiro tried to video chat as much as possible. Shiro would normally video chat late at night, but that was when he was most worried about slipping up. He knew Keith. He knew Keith would recognize the medical bracelet and want to come to Earth.

A few others would recognize the bracelet, like Matt, Sam, and Iverson. He made sure to always have it covered by his jacket sleeve. He also now had a policy that people knock and wait until he said enter when they visited his office. He only took off his jacket when the door was closed.

Luckily, he was fine that everyone was busy. He was happy the other Paladins were on their own. Now that they were post-war, they deserved to have happiness. To be on their own and explore the universe how they wanted.

He always received messages and requests for him to come visit. It’s easy to play off the idea that he is always busy. He was a known workaholic along with Keith and Pidge. Matt always asked to go out. He has turned their weekly dinners into every few weeks.

There are rumors. He has heard them and has seen the messages asking him. The rumor he needed to dispel, that he may be dating someone. Keith was the only one that hadn’t asked. Keith respected Shiro’s right to his private life. Their messages have gotten shorter between them but they make sure to always reply to each other.

If anyone asked him if he was lonely, he would answer no. The distance did hurt, but he was Shiro. The Champion. The former leader of Voltron. The former Black Paladin. An Admiral of the Garrison. A founder of the Galactic Coalition.

He could endure being alone. Throw in the video calls, the hangouts with Matt, and Holt Family dinner every few weeks and everyone thought he was fine. No one was worried and he wasn’t burdening anyone with his diagnosis. Just playing off that he’s a workaholic.

He felt a light vibration from his bracelet. Just doing a daily scan. He set it up to vibrate. Didn’t want it to beep at the wrong time. If he didn’t have his PADD, people would start to question.

~~~

Keith touched down on Earth. He was tired from his journey but glad to be back. He was here to be the Blade representative for some Coalition meetings. It was a drag to be stuck in meetings since he’d rather be in space or racing hover bikes with Shiro. The only thing that made these meetings worth it was seeing Shiro, Matt, and Pidge.

Shiro was who he really wanted to see. He missed his best friend. Not according to his mom but he doesn’t want to argue about it anymore with her. His mom said Keith was in love with Shiro. According to Krolia, Shiro was his mate. The Galra love greatly. They could have more than one mate in their lifetime but that’s only if they lost their mate. The reason he still loved Shiro and would always love Shiro.

Keith was worried about Shiro. He had always kept a busy schedule. But the messages had gotten shorter along with the video calls. Shiro always replied to the messages but sometimes cancelled the video calls. He wasn’t the only one worried, either.

Matt was also worried about it. Matt had reached out to Keith, asking if he knew anything. That he hasn’t seen Shiro has much as he used to. Matt complained that he couldn’t hide in Shiro’s office from the higher-ups. Especially if he did a crazy experiment. Also that their regular dinner meetings, once three times a week, had changed to every few weeks.

Keith had a destination in mind after getting out of the hangar. He was going to track Shiro down and check on him. As he walked towards the Garrison main building, he looked towards the roof. In his cadet days it was where Shiro would take him to calm down if they couldn’t go out on the hover bikes. Expecting it to be empty, he saw a lone figure. He focused as he walked closer and it was Shiro. He wasn’t wearing his jacket and he was leaning against the rail with his back to Keith.

Keith picked up his pace, hoping he could meet up with Shiro on the roof. He didn’t want to call out to him just in case he was doing something. As he went through the halls he waved at familiar faces and continued on his way. He made it to the floor that had the roof access stairs. He turned a corner and froze.

He saw Shiro next to the doors that led to the roof stairs. But that wasn’t what caused Keith to freeze. He saw the bracelet and it felt like he was getting kicked by Kolivan at full power.

He turned back around the corner before Shiro could see him. Hoping Shiro wasn’t heading his way, he peeked around the corner slightly to see Shiro heading to the other end of the hall. His jacket fully in order and hiding the familiar bracelet on his left wrist.

He couldn’t stop his legs from giving out as he slid down the wall he was leaning against. He felt assaulted by all the hurt and anger he’d felt long ago. He couldn’t stop the sob that came out. Thinking he was that seventeen-year-old cadet, who thought his world was crashing down. He felt betrayed by Shiro, for keeping this a secret from him.

He was getting so emotional he felt his fangs lengthen. His eyes probably were starting to turn yellow but he felt the tears prickle in his eyes. And he felt his heart breaking again, like all those years ago.

That medical bracelet he knew well. The moment Shiro had explained what it was haunted him. Back when Shiro was going to get his dream. Back when Shiro would be able to have one last flight. Keith felt helpless just, as he had then. He couldn’t save Shiro from this. Keith had to get out, he needed space to think.

_‘Shiro was supposed to be cured. That’s what he was told two years ago. That’s what Shiro said. He sounded happy and relieved. But with Shiro pulling away, it makes sense. But why wouldn’t Shiro tell me?”_

Keith made it to his quarters. He knew he still needed to check in but right now, he needed the peace. He needed to be alone. He would check in with everyone as soon as he calmed down. He could just blame the trip, that he needed a rest.

He needed to think. How he was going to handle this. Obviously no one else knew, otherwise Matt or Pidge would have reached out instantly. Hell, even Sam would have messaged him to let him know of Shiro’s diagnosis. Even if Shiro forbade them from telling him, they would have told Keith at least. Which meant the Garrison and the Coalition were not aware.

_‘Quiznak! The Garrison. Even though it’s been years, the Garrison last time did not want Shiro piloting. They saw Shiro as his disease. If it wasn’t for Sam’s advocacy that got Shiro the Kerberos Mission, Shiro would have never achieved his dream. The Garrison grounded him and turned him into a recruiter. They didn’t see Shiro for his outstanding records, grades, and sense of leadership.”_

Keith figured out his plan. He was going to act normal but keep a closer eye on Shiro. He wanted Shiro to come to him. To trust him again. To see he wasn’t seventeen anymore and in need of protection. He just wanted his best friend back and now he could try since he knew why Shiro was distancing himself.

~~~

Shiro woke up feeling like Zarkon had hit him multiple times. He didn’t know if he wanted to get out of bed. He knew with how he felt, he would need to take a stronger dose. This was the worst he had ever felt since his diagnosis. He tried stretching in bed and didn’t bother hiding the pain.

It was a continuous ache. Slow and annoying. Like running a marathon and not preparing for it. He sat up slowly and reached for his PADD. Checking his schedule for the day, he saw he had no major meetings. He knew, but wanted to make sure nothing was added at the last minute.

With that information, he did something he never did. He took the day off. He sent a message to Veronica that he was taking the day off. He had the time. He got comfortable in the bed again and threw the bracelet off. He didn’t want to deal with it today.

~~~

Keith was walking about the Garrison. It had been a few days since he arrived. He’d had meetings and caught up with almost everyone. The Holts are well. Pidge, Matt, and he had done a game night. He even weaseled lunch with Shiro once.

Shiro wasn’t aware of Keith watching him. Shiro looked perfectly fine, to be honest. Keith with his keen eyesight didn’t see any difference from the last time he’d seen Shiro. His skin color was as healthy as ever. He hadn’t lost any muscle mass by the looks of it. He might even have put on a bit more muscle.

He hadn’t seen Shiro in pain but then again, this was Shiro. The man knew how to hide his pain. Shiro from a young age taught himself to never show weakness. Was once seen only as his disease. Knowing Shiro as he does, Keith knows Shiro wouldn’t want to live like that again. He would not burden anyone with his diagnosis.

He didn’t want the Paladins to know how about it. Even if they were family. Keith saw how much it broke Shiro before Kerberos, the break up with Adam was rough on him. Adam was all Shiro had other than the Holts and Keith. The burden of his disease on the relationship took its toll. Adam always acted as if Shiro was fragile as time went on. Keith actually remembered Adam was upset with Shiro for going out on the hoverbike all afternoon.

Keith continued around the Garrison looking for Shiro. He had already stopped by his office and he wasn’t there. Keith didn’t know his schedule. Didn’t know if he had any Garrison-related meetings for the day. He had been to the canteen, seen Shiro’s hoverbike still parked in the hangar.

As he turned to go down another hallway he spotted Veronica. Veronica and he had a friendly relationship, considering his second was dating her. Veronica and Acxa really hit it off and Acxa was ready to have roots.

“Roni,” Keith called as he headed towards her.

Veronica turned and smiled, “Keith. Or should I say ‘Commander’?”

“Roni, it’s just Keith when we aren’t in meetings. Well, always, but I doubt we can get away with it. I already push it with Shiro,” Keith chuckled. The glares he got when he called Shiro by his nickname instead of Admiral Shirogane.

“I know you have no meetings today. So what are you doing in this area, would have thought you would stay far away from over here?” Veronica asked while observing him.

“I’m looking for Shiro and before you ask, yes, I went by his office already. And no, I did not message him. I was going to surprise him. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find him all day.”

Veronica couldn’t help the small smile. “He took the day off. He messaged me this morning to clear his schedule. Since he had no major meetings it was simple to do.”

“Wait, Shiro took the day off?” Keith couldn’t hold back his surprise. That wasn’t like Shiro. Veronica was watching him getting worried, “Doesn’t seem serious. I just think the work is finally catching up to him. I have told him before to take a day here or there for himself. It’s good for him to take a day off for himself.”

Keith thanked Veronica before heading off. He was worried, but like Veronica said, Shiro could be taking a day for himself. But Keith didn’t want to take the chance that Shiro truly was okay. The worry he had been feeling since he arrived was now worse. He took off with a new mission in mind.

~~~

Shiro had spent the day lounging around his living quarters. Barely moving unless he had to. He got out of bed earlier, changed into a tank top and sweats. He didn’t bother with the prosthetic and kept it in its charging dock. He moved to the living room and nestled down on the couch for the day.

Lucky he had invested in a comfortable couch, considering it’s where he had spent the day so far. He had eaten but not much. He could take the meds but he was tired. Tired of having to have his muscle mass checked daily. Tired of waiting for the other shoe to drop. He wondered if today was the beginning of the descent. That he might start having more bad days. He hoped today was random. That he didn’t have to go on stronger doses all the time.

He knew he should message Dr. Rayna to let her know about the pain but he didn’t want the scolding of not using the bracelet. She would assure him that he wasn’t weak. That this might be the worst he ever feels. And this could be just a one-time event. That if this is the worst he’ll ever hurt on bad days and no loss of muscle mass, this would be the best diagnosis.

He was watching whatever was on the television with the volume on low when he heard the first knock. He didn’t want to deal with anyone today. He already curbed the Holts. So he just ignored it and threw his arm over his face. Unfortunately the knock got louder and more persistent than the first knock. It couldn’t be an emergency because they would have called. His PADD had been quiet all day except for a message here and there.

He figured eventually whoever was at his door will think he’s not home. That was fine. He just wanted to have peace and keep wishing the aches would go away.

~~~

Keith was outside Shiro’s door. He knocked and got no response. He pounded on the door and started to worry that a neighbor may yell at him. There was a chance Shiro wasn’t home but from what he could tell Shiro wasn’t in any Garrison facility or out on his hover bike. He didn’t think Shiro was in town.

He debated his options before pulling his PADD out and messaging Pidge.

**“Pidge. Can I ask a favor?”- K**

**“Depends what it’s worth to you?”- P**

Keith should have expected this but honestly didn’t have the time for Pidge’s games. He knew he would give her anything. And she was one of the few who knew about his feelings.

**“Pidge… I’ll owe you one.”- K**

**“Consider yourself owned! What’s the favor?”- P**

**“Any possibility you can unlock Shiro’s front door of his living quarters?”- K**

**“Seriously? Why don’t you just message him. You know if you ask, Shiro will let you in.”- P**

**“I will owe you big. I’m just worried.”- K**

**“I messaged him earlier. He said he was fine. Just finally taking a day for himself, since no important meetings today. And we all know Space Dad needed a day.”- P**

**“Space Dad? Also this is Shiro. Shiro who has PTSD and never takes a day for himself willingly. Please tell me honestly you aren’t a little worried?”- K**

**“Give me a minute.”- P**

Keith heard Shiro’s door unlock. He shot a message of thanks to Pidge. The response was a reminder that she owned him. He opened the door and saw no lights on except for what came through the windows.

Keith looked around before stepping into the apartment fully. He looked towards the couch and saw Shiro lying across it with his arm covering his face. He noticed the prosthetic arm was not around, he assumed he had it off. All that could be heard was the low volume of the television.

Making sure the door was fully closed, he slipped off his shoes. He knew Shiro kept that tradition when he could. It’s something he learned as a child as part of his family traditions. Keith walked slowly toward the couch to give Shiro enough time to tell him to leave.

He knew Shiro was awake. Shiro was like him, a light sleeper. Since he hadn’t leapt out to defend himself, Shiro must have figured out it was Keith.

Only a select few would enter Shiro’s apartment without permission. Matt and Pidge would hack their way in. Keith would use Pidge to hack in unless he had brought his blade gear. Matt would also use annoying tactics. Drive Shiro crazy enough to let him in. That’s all Keith could think of unless the rumors the other Paladins mention were true. That Shiro was dating someone. The idea made something deep within Keith hurt but Shiro didn’t belong to him. And when he was ready, if he was dating someone, he would tell Keith.

He reached the coffee table in front of the couch. He took a seat on the edge of it and waited. He sat facing Shiro, and observed him. He could see the bracelet missing from Shiro’s wrist. It didn’t make sense. He had seen Shiro wearing it since the first day Keith had arrived.

Shiro knew how to hide but Keith knew what to look for. And he could see how others might not know what is if they did catch a glimpse of it. The Holts and Iverson would know automatically though.Which meant Shiro had gotten better at hiding himself.

He glared patiently at Shiro. Keith felt his fangs start to lengthen and his eyesight become clearer. He was upset with Shiro for not telling Keith he was taking the day off.

~~~

Shiro could feel the tension radiating in the air around him. He sighed and lowered his arm as he sat up. He saw Keith, who he had assumed it was, glaring at him. Shiro didn’t know what he had done or what may have happened to make Keith upset, but Keith was upset enough his Galra features were coming out.

“Keith,” he croaked. An ache went through his body and he couldn’t stop the pain from showing on his face.

Keith got up suddenly and Shiro watched him get a glass of water. He put it down in front Shiro on the coffee table. But he didn’t sit back down. Shiro grabbed the glass and took sips until it was gone.

He figured Keith had gone to the restroom but when he glanced around he saw Keith come out of his room. His eyes widened when he saw what was in Keith’s hand.

“Keit—” Shiro didn’t get to finish his sentence. Keith grabbed his arm and put the medical bracelet where it belong with gentle care. Even after making sure was on perfectly, Keith didn’t relinquished his arm. Instead, Shiro watched Keith tap the screen a few times -- that was when he felt it. He started to feel the ache ease up. Not enough to make it go away fully but enough to make him comfortable. He didn’t know how Keith knew how much to administer but Shiro wasn’t surprised.

He was about to say thanks when Keith put his hand up to stop him. Keith was still mad and Shiro now had an inkling why. He also remembered he didn’t message Keith earlier that he was taking the day off. This was not how he planned his free afternoon. He should have known Keith would track him down. This was Shiro’s fault and he knew it.

~~~

“Don’t say a word. Not until I finish!”

Keith watched Shiro close his mouth instead of finishing what he was going to say. Keith waited a moment to see if Shiro was going to speak. Keith nodded to himself when he realized Shiro was giving him space.

Keith took a breath to help calm himself down, “I’m not seventeen anymore. You don’t have to hide things from me. When I saw this on the day I arrived, it hurt. It felt like you didn’t trust me. After everything we went through. You came back after being tortured for a year. The war. You dying. Coming back to life. Defeating Haggar and saving the universe.”

Keith was getting angrier. He felt angry tears start to fall. He was getting too emotional. His fangs were fully lengthened. He felt a hand grab one of his balled up fists. His knuckles were white from how tight his fists were clenched.

“Keith,” he heard Shiro call quietly.

Keith yanked his hand back and got up, “No! We can’t keep doing this. Every time something major happens, we ignore it. I made sure I was around, to make sure you weren’t alone. And yes, it worked for me because I’m the same. We don’t like talking about our emotions and maybe that was our problem. Especially after bringing you back from the abyss. We didn’t talk and I think it started this precedent of not telling each other things. I realized you didn’t know what happened. But we could still have talked about you dying.”

Keith paced while Shiro watched him. He kept pacing until he saw it. Shiro lightly biting his lip. Either he was thinking or keeping a secret. Keith knew he had told Shiro not to talk, but he nodded to let him know he could speak.

Except he wasn’t expecting what Shiro was going to say. The one thing that broke the dam after all this time.

“Keith, I remember everything.”

~~~

Shiro watched Keith go rigid. His eyes and fangs returned to normal. Like he lost all the fight in him. He collapsed on the coffee table. Keith looked so broken to Shiro. Like he was that seventeen-year-old cadet, who had just found out about his disease.

Shiro reached for him but Keith flinched away. Shiro lowered his hand. And sat watching Keith. He knew Keith assumed he didn’t have the clone’s memories. Especially since Shiro had never mentioned them.

“How much,” Keith croaked.

“I remember it all. I remember escaping Haggar. You finding me and telling me you would always save me. I don’t know how the clone had my memories of being the Black Paladin considering she started making clones after I first escaped. But I remember it all. You stepped away so I could pilot Black.”

Shiro stopped to make sure Keith was still listening. Of course he was. Keith always listened to him.

He took another deep breath, “I remember attacking the team. You followed me after I took off with Lotor. Everything I said to you during the fight. That no one cared for you. How you almost broke through by telling me you loved me, that I was your brother. But what haunts me the most was how I left a scar trying to kill you. And yet you didn’t let me go Keith. You should have let me go.”

Shiro felt Keith grab his hand. Shiro wasn’t looking him in the eyes. He was ashamed but when Keith grabbed his hand, Shiro looked at him. He found tears in Keith’s eyes. He shook his head and Keith nodded. Shiro was asking to wait. To let him finish. This wasn’t easy for Shiro.

“I have to deal with the fact that I almost killed the people I care about. That the person I care about the most keeps saving me. I know you said I’m your brother, but Keith, I love you. Dammit! I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want to put a strain on our friendship. With my diagnosis and everything going on. I didn’t want to be a burden on you. I knew you would drop everything to come here. I didn’t want you to see me like this. Keith this is something I can’t be saved from. I—”

~~~

Keith was listening to Shiro explain he had the memories from the clone. He watched the person he loved the most have a break down. And they hadn’t fully touched on the disease yet. It just showed how much they needed to talk -- and, as Pidge and Matt would put it, how emotionally constipated they were.

Shiro loved him. He had just told Keith he loved him. Which means the rumors the other had been sharing weren’t true. Shiro wasn’t dating anyone and it was just all because of his disease. Keith felt the weight lift from his chest. He had been a bit worried that Shiro was dating. He just wanted Shiro happy.

Keith figured screw it. He interrupted Shiro. He couldn’t help it. He figured this might be the easiest way to tell Shiro. Or at least help cement it. He kissed Shiro. It wasn’t what people describe as a first kiss. It wasn’t romantic. Shiro seemed to be too shocked, he wasn’t responding. Keith backed off. It was just a quick kiss.

“I love you too. When I said I love you that time, it’s because I love you. Not as a brother. And I never once blamed the clone or you for what happened. Shiro, you never gave up on me. You kept telling me I could lead. I will fight for you. So please let me be here. Don’t push me away. I can’t just stand aside. These past few months the messages have been bare minimum and the video calls were sometimes missed. And we can’t keep doing this to each other. I’m not letting you go. So let go of what happened; I have. This scar shows that I fought for you, for us. Just like yours shows you fought to come home to me. We match now.”

Keith finished and lightly traced the scar above Shiro’s nose with his thumbs. He hadn’t let go of Shiro’s face after the quick kiss, making sure Shiro could see how sincere he was. He didn’t want Shiro to doubt he loved him.

He felt the deep breath Shiro let out before speaking. “Keith. I was starting to get aches and feeling sore. I decided to mention it at my physical exam. We had to update my file since it wasn’t current. When we rushed to get my prosthetic surgery, we didn’t do a physical exam. I have been busy and never put it as a priority to get my physical after the war ended. Sam finally got on my case about it. Part of the exam was a blood test.”

Keith let go of his face and grabbed his hand with one of his again. He wanted to show Shiro he was listening and if he needed a breather, it was fine. He felt Shiro squeeze his hand lightly.

“A few days passed and I was called back to go over the results. My disease wasn’t the only news. I’m part Galra now. Haggar definitely wanted to improve me. She did mess with my genetic code and it now registers me as part Galra. It’s not just a tiny bit either. I have noticed I have fangs and they lengthen like yours do when you are emotional. I have accidentally cut my tongue with them. I also didn’t pay attention to the fact my eyesight and other senses had heightened until after the war. I thought it was from the adrenaline. So I had no idea until then.”

Keith rubbed small circles on Shiro’s hand with his thumb, “what does this mean for your disease?”

Keith wanted to ask more about how Shiro felt about being part Galra, but he knew it was something that can be discussed later. It didn’t change how he saw Shiro. Shiro was Shiro to him. Just like when they found out Keith was part Galra. Shiro reassured Keith that he was Keith.

Shiro looked into Keith’s eyes. “Yes. We don’t know how my disease will proceed. It’s been a few months since my diagnosis. I haven’t lost any muscle mass. This may not kill me. I may just have aches and sores for the rest of my life.”

Keith smiled. “Then what happened today?”

Shiro looked guilty. “Today I woke up like I got hit by Zarkon multiple times. I just wanted a day without aspirin or a heavier dose of meds. I mean, this is better than a certain death sentence. Even though this could evolve fast and kill me faster.”

Once again Keith kissed Shiro. He loved this goofball who cared more for others than himself. They were so much alike yet so different. Shiro planned while Keith just ran. It’s why they worked so well. Shiro responded to this light kiss.

“Shiro there’s nothing wrong with having bad days. And this may be the first of many but I want to be here. Or have you with me. Being a Senior Commander means I don’t have to go on missions as much. We have become relief aides, but there are still dangers out there,” Keith explained.

Shiro sighed. “I haven’t told the Garrison. They might ground me and I don’t know how the Coalition will receive the news.”

Keith couldn’t stop the snort, “Fuck the Garrison. I know the Coalition bought the ATLAS. I know it was a symbol of strength for the Garrison but it was more of a symbol for the Coalition. Like Voltron was. You guys are contracted out to work on the ATLAS. But I guarantee the Coalition won’t ground you. Shiro, the universe knows you. They believe in you! You think Allura would let them drop you? Or the Blades? Kolivan rather work with you than the Garrison.”

“Keith,” Shiro yawned.

“You need sleep. You look like shit,” Keith commented.

“That’s what every guy wants to hear from the guy they love.”

Keith laughed and raised Shiro’s hand higher so he could reach the bracelet. He dispensed more meds. He helped Shiro get comfortable on the couch. By the time he saw Shiro was out, he had already made up his mind what he was going to do. He just hoped Shiro wouldn’t mind.

~~~

Shiro woke up to the sound of his door closing. He started to internally panic thinking Keith had left. That while Shiro was asleep Keith realized Shiro was broken. And he wouldn’t blame Keith. He snapped out of it when he heard noises coming from the kitchen area.

He sat up groggily. He wiped his face with his hand before getting up. It took him a moment to get his bearings, but then he looked towards the kitchen. He saw Keith at the stove cooking.

“What are you cooking?” Shiro leaned against the island counter to watch Keith.

Keith turned, scanning him and smiled, “I’ve started boiling pasta, so I can make baked macaroni and cheese for dinner.”

Shiro wanted to cry out of happiness but he was tired of crying, “Keith you don’t have to cook dinner. We could have ordered in. What’s with the face?”

Keith looked disgusted and glared at him, “Shiro, I remember the diet you used to have. Macaroni and cheese was your one cheat meal. Please tell me you haven’t been just ordering food and eating from the Garrison canteen?”

Shiro looked down guiltily. “As stated before this disease isn’t exactly the same. I’m not losing muscle mass and I still work out like normal. I may have skipped my run and weight training today. But one day and the diet I have now doesn’t affect anything.”

He watched Keith sigh, “Shiro, you know unless Hunk cooks it, I wouldn’t trust the Garrison canteen. I remember as a cadet what they fed us. And from what I’ve seen, it’s still the same. It’s why I only eat lunch. Also I know I don’t have to cook dinner. I want to cook dinner for you. I want to spoil you. And don’t say you don’t deserve it. You do! And I know you, you’re going to spoil me. Especially if I come back from a mission injured. We will go back and forth on this. But for the love of god, do not cook for me.”

Shiro couldn’t help the blush that he felt all the way down his neck. Keith always did rib him about his cooking ability, or lack thereof. Keith knew how to cook. He wasn’t a chef like Hunk but he definitely could survive.

“Fine I won’t cook for you. And when you mentioned being around for the bad days. This was the first time this happened. Otherwise I’ve only needed aspirin or very low doses of my meds,” Shiro explained. Knowing Keith would want to know it all. Shiro wanted to help but he knew Keith wouldn’t let him./

Keith turned to him after making sure to keep stirring the melted cheese. “Did you message your doctor at least? To update them on this.”

Shiro wouldn’t look him in the eye. “No.”

He heard Keith sign. “Shiro can you please message them. This will help keep your file in order. This hasn’t been seen before, as you stated. And I know as far as Kolivan can tell from Galra records, there is no muscle degenerative disease with Galra.”

“You’re right, I need to message Dr. Rayna on this. How much does Kolivan know from his research?”

“Can you come stir the cheese sauce please?”

Shiro went to the stove and took the spoon from Keith to stir the cheese while Keith strained the pasta. “The first day I saw that bracelet I reached out to Kolivan. I asked him if he ever saw a Galra have a muscle degenerative disease before. As far as he knows and looking in the archive of the Galra they do not have anything like it. Which means your doctor may be right about it not being a death sentence. Your Galra genetics might be fighting it. Maybe we need to look fully into Haggar’s files to see what she did to you. And Allura has that information.”

Shiro smiled sadly. “Baby, you really were worried.”

He watched Keith take the cheese sauce from the stove after moving Shiro out of the way. Shiro enjoyed watching Keith put the macaroni and cheese in the oven after topping it with bread crumbs and pre-made bacon crumbs.

“Kashi, I’ll travel across the universe for you.”

Shiro reached out and grabbed Keith around the waist to pull him into a kiss. This was what their first kiss should have been. Slow and exploring. Not quick with Shiro not responding to Keith because he couldn’t believe Keith loved him. But the kiss was cut short as a wave of pain came and caused Shiro to groan.

He knew they had a long road ahead of them for their relationship. But he also knew they would be fine. Keith and he always found each other and would find a way.

They finished dinner and they both did the dishes. Shiro wanted to do the dishes on his own since Keith cooked. Keith wouldn’t accept that. So they both did the dishes.

Shiro did get his PADD and found messages from Pidge and Matt. He ignored them for now and sent a message to update Dr. Rayna. He went back to the messages from the Holt siblings. Matt wanted to hit the bar on Friday and also wanted to invite Keith. Shiro knew that wouldn’t be a problem. He looked to Keith as he responded and saw that he may have been checking his own messages on his PADD. Pidge’s message was about how she had let Keith in and that Keith owed her big time.

~~~

Keith watched Shiro finish sending out his messages. He had already gone through his. Nothing major, just Kolivan and his mom checking in on him. His mom would be happy to hear about Shiro and him. She always pressed him to talk to Shiro.

He was glad Shiro was messaging his doctor. He knew Shiro was stubborn and was probably tired of doctors in his past. His last doctor helped achieve his dream but he heard the stories of previous doctors from Shiro.

He saw Shiro look at him and he couldn’t help the smile that came. He was with Shiro and would remind him every day that he would stay by his side. He would help Shiro through this. He would make sure Shiro could do everything he wanted. As he said. He would travel across the universe for him.

He walked over to Shiro and helped him up. Shiro looked up at him in confusion. Keith couldn’t help it again. He leaned up a little while wrapping his arms around the back of Shiro’s neck. This kiss should have been their first, it had passion. It held promise. Shiro’s arm pulled him closer at the waist.

Keith couldn’t help the moan that escaped his throat. This was better than he ever imagined. He loved that he was still shorter than Shiro. He has always loved the idea of being enveloped by Shiro and he couldn’t help but trill.

Keith felt Shiro break away to look at him and to also get oxygen. Shiro was smiling at him and Keith lowered his arms from around Shiro’s neck. He took a small step back and Shiro removed his arm from his waist. Kieth missed it but he had a plan.

Keith grabbed Shiro’s hand and led him to his room. He knew Shiro was curious and watching him. Of course Shiro didn’t hesitate to follow along. Keith knew Shiro trusted him, just as much as Keith trusted Shiro.

They made it to the room and Keith grabbed the boxers and pajama bottoms he had gotten out earlier for Shiro. He pushed Shiro towards the bathroom. “Go take a shower and relax.”

When Keith saw Shiro hesitate, he pushed him forward with a light chuckle. Shiro got it and smiled before heading into the bathroom. Keith waited until he heard the shower turn on through the partially open bathroom door. He reached for the bag he’d thrown into the room earlier.

He pulled out the therapeutic massage oil that smelled like lavender. He wanted to spoil Shiro and he knew this would work on aches and pains. He would take care of Shiro and make sure he got sleep. Keith also used this oil after a rough mission. So it’s fine and meant for Galra use.

 _“Kashi,’_ that thought brought a trill out of Keith. He hadn’t called Shiro, ‘Kashi’ since before Kerbros. God he loved that man. And he was just in the other room showering. Keith looked down knowing what he would find. He was a healthy half-Galra in his twenties. At least he was no longer a cadet who had to hide his erection from thinking about Shiro.

He also decided to strip down to his boxers and grabbed one of Shiro’s white shirts.

He was settling in to stay the night. He wasn’t going to let Shiro send him home. He was going to make sure Shiro had an easy night and slept.

He made sure the therapeutic massage oil was where he wanted and then sat on the on edge of the bed waiting, knowing there wasn’t anywhere else he wanted to be. He had calmed down a bit. Tonight was just about relaxing and taking care of Shiro.

He heard the shower turn off. A few minutes later the door opened to reveal Shiro. Shiro wasn’t looking at him. Keith could feel the nervousness radiating from Shiro. He watched Shiro procrastinate by using the small towel around his neck to dry his hair.

Keith got up and slowly walked towards Shiro. He doesn’t know what caused Shiro to become nervous. He scanned Shiro’s body. He knew Shiro had scars. That’s when it hit Keith. It was about the scars. Shiro might not know that Keith knew about them all. Shiro was the type to shower privately and not as a team when on the castleship.

Keith was the one who had checked Shiro after Allura transferred Shiro’s soul into the clone body. He had made sure nothing needed stitching before they put him in the pod. And he also bathed him. Keith never felt a reason to tell Shiro and honestly thought he had known.

To Keith, Shiro’s scars were part of him. His road map to survival. His fight to come home. To him and the others. They didn’t turn Keith off. Like he told Shiro earlier about his own scar and Shiro’s nose scar. He saw strength. Not a broken person. Shiro fought all his life to live.

He reached Shiro and slowly brought his hand forward. Shiro didn’t stop him, so Keith proceeded to lightly trace one of Shiro’s bigger scars on his chest. He felt the stuttered breath before hearing it.

“Shiro as I said before. Illness and all.” Keith wished Shiro would look at him.

Shiro chuckled. “Isn’t it a bit too early for vows?”

Keith smiled. Shiro was joking and finally looked at him. Keith reached for Shiro’s hand and led him to the bed. He had Shiro sit on the edge, “Shiro. I’m not kidding. I’m here. Bad and good. Don’t hide.”

Shiro was looking Keith in the eyes, “It’s a two-way street Keith.”

Keith knew what he was referring to. That he couldn’t hide things from Shiro. And probably not to treat his life like it wasn’t worth anything. That it wasn’t okay to sacrifice himself. Shiro thought the same.

“You’re right Kashi. It does go two ways. And there is something about Galra. Even though I’m half-Galra, it affects me. Galra mate for life. The only time they can move on is if the other dies. In rare cases they can’t move on. Shiro, I didn’t know it when I was younger but when you returned to Earth after Kerberos, I imprinted on you. I already had a crush and I guess that’s how it started.”

~~~

“So you have been in love with me all this time?” Shiro couldn’t help but ask.

“Yes.”

“How long have you known?” He was scared to find out how long Keith had known.

“My mom first told me back when we were on the space whale. She saw a lot of you. At first she kept it to herself. I could tell something was up and she wanted to talk but she didn’t know how to broach the subject. So I asked her. She told me about how Galra mate for life when they find the right partner. That a lot of times it’s for life but if the other dies, the living can find love again. Just might not be as strong.”

Shiro watched Keith gather his thoughts. He couldn’t imagine having this conversation with a mom he was still getting to know. But he was glad Krolia and Keith had that time together. Keith deserved it more than anyone.

“She asked me about my feelings for you. The memories were from my point of view, so it would show how I saw it. She saw everything you did for me back at the Garrison. It’s why she was happy to meet you. And she was there when you almost died in the pod. She told me about mates on the space whale. My father was hers. But seeing you react to me begging you not die, it solidified her idea. When she met the real you, she told me she liked you better.”

Shiro had to ask, “Keith how did you know? Or Krolia know? Are there any tells, any signs?”

Keith sat down on the bed next to Shiro, “at first it was a crush for me. But then it shifted. After I rescued you from the Garrison. All I felt was the need to protect you and care for you. It’s why whenever you were in trouble, be it a simulation fight or in an actual battle. It’s why after Zarkon’s battle I couldn’t stop looking. And when you confronted me in the astral plane my heart broke. I felt so lost. But I felt you after. When I wanted to get back to the team fast, I felt your hand on mine. And that’s when I unlocked the power of Black’s wings. My heartbreaking love for you. Black loved you so much. You were her true Paladin. She accepted me because of you.”

Shiro was listening to Keith but he was also thinking. Ever since he’d come back to life, it seemed like his feelings for Keith shifted. He knew he was falling in love with his best friend before he died. He saw Keith and he saw the man he was becoming. At first he did feel wrong because they were best friends. But he thought back to when he was with Adam. They were fighting and Adam became less supportive. Even before the breakup, Shiro was becoming reliant on Keith and Matt.

When he woke from the pod. He traveled with Keith and Krolia in Black for part of the journey. But all he felt was self-hatred and he felt like he shouldn’t be near Keith. It hurt being with Pidge but he thought he needed space. Pidge would mention he would say Keith’s name a lot in his sleep. That he was sorry and he had failed. Shiro never talked in his sleep before and it was always about Keith. He would also whine in his sleep.

He understood what Keith meant about wanting to care and protect. Shiro’s desire to protect Keith when Haggar’s robobeast appeared was what helped trigger the crystal to transform ATLAS. Watching Keith fall from the sky, he was the one who went to Black. Black didn’t hesitate to use what little power she had to open for him. When he retrieved Keith, she welcomed him home and called him her cub.

He stayed by Keith and even after Krolia and Kolivan arrived he would go in after visiting hours. He was mad when he had to do the memorial speech and not be there with Keith instead.

He felt a hand grab his. He found Keith looking worriedly at him. Shiro smiled, “Keith, I think I imprinted on you. Ever since I awoke in this body, my feelings got stronger. I was already falling in love with you before I died. Black knew. It’s why she trusted you, because we loved each other. Even this distancing from you, I have been emotionally hurting. I’m just good at hiding it.”

Keith snorted. “No more of that with me.”

Shiro leaned down to rest his head on Keith’s shoulder. He felt Keith run his fingers through his hair floof. It felt great. He could fall asleep like this. Keith must have sensed that because he started helping Shiro to lie on his bed on his stomach.

He felt Keith straddle his hips, “Keith, what are you doing?”

“Taking care of you. I got this massage oil that will help with the aches. It works well for Galra. I use too if I need it,” Keith answered.

Shiro heard the pop of a bottle opening. Not long after he felt Keith’s hands go along his shoulder. It started lightly but then Keith started using more pressure on the knots in his shoulder.

“On your bad days, I have no problem doing this for you, Shiro. If it can help relieve the pain a bit. I don’t mind. Just like I know when I return from a mission and refuse to go to the med bay, you will patch me up and take care of me. This is a partnership where we are equal. We have always treated each other this way. That doesn’t need to change.”

Shiro hummed, “I need to figure out what I’m doing with the Garrison. I am worried about my position. And it has been stressing me out.”

“Have you thought about retiring from the Garrison? You know the Coalition would love having you full time and not on a contract out. You already pretty much work for them anyway with all the paperwork. It would lessen since you wouldn’t have the Garrison paperwork on top of it,” Keith laid it out while working on his back now.

“Honestly that sounds better. Plus I’ll pilot more. I would have to give this place up. I would just take a smaller place on the Garrison base.”

“Or move into my quarters. Being a Senior Commander of the Blades and their representative has its perks. Plus I’m rebuilding the house out in the desert, I’ll move out there when it’s done and just come to the base for meetings and such.”

“You asking me to move in with you?”

“I already gave you vows. I don’t need dating. I just need you. And with you out in space more, I can stay on ATLAS when I’m not on missions. It would be nice. You can also be registered to my Dabaizaal place. Allura I think already has us keyed to each other’s rooms. I suggest we keep yours. Yours has the nicer view and a better shower.”

Shiro felt Keith get up and his back felt amazing. He was turned on but tonight wasn’t the time. Keith’s hand went out to his waist to turn him on on his side. Shiro hadn’t been the little spoon in so long. It felt amazing.

He forgot how it felt to be taken care of. He was always the big spoon with Adam. He should have known Keith would know what he wanted. Speaking of Keith, he could feel him against his lower back.

“You know I can take care of that,” he offered.

Keith started drawing lazy patterns on his abs. “It’s fine. We aren’t ready. I want it to when we know we are ready. And it will be amazing. Because we love each other. I’m not going anywhere. We’ll explore the universe like we always wanted to.”

Shiro smiled, “Dreams do come true.”

“They do. I love you Kashi.”

“I love you too baby.”

Shiro can sensed Keith wanted to say something else. He didn’t want Keith to feel like he has to keep things from him. “Keith, you can say anything you want to me. I mean we did just agree to move in with each other.”

Keith continued to draw patterns. “You said earlier I can’t save you this time but I did save you from yourself. That you don’t have to do this alone. And I’m choosing to be here. Be it six months or an eternity, I stay by your side.”

Shiro felt the weight of the words. Knowing Keith he was going to show it with actions. But hearing Keith proclaimed this promise made him feel loved. “Keith. You are right. You saved me again.”

Shiro was comfortable and the last thing he remembered before falling asleep was Keith placing light kisses on his neck. That was the first night he ever slept peacefully, And he knew he could do this. That he didn’t have to be alone. Dr. Rayna was right. He would tell the others. And Keith would be with him as always. There was no one else he would want to be with.


End file.
